Andra's Happiness Project

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"We laughed and laughed, together and separately, out loud and silently, we were determined to ignore whatever needed to be ignored, to build a new world from nothing if nothing in our world could be salvaged, it was one of the best days of my life, a day during which I lived my life and didn’t think about my life at all" - Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer

Adore this book. Can't wait for the movie to come out!

I have been thinking a lot lately. Probably too much. The relationship with my son's father was the worst and the best relationship of my life. When things were bad, they were really bad. But when things were good, they were really good. He could make me feel like a million bucks, then turn around and make me feel like I was the scum of the earth. It was an off the wall, bipolar relationship if there ever was one. Regardless, I loved him extremely, exclusively, incredibly, intensely. 20 months later, with my unfortunately romanticizing tendencies, I constantly reminiscence the good times; the obnoxious singing in the car, the strange dances, the laughing so hard every single day., missing him when I walked into the restroom, calling him to talk on the way home after leaving his house. Because that's how we were. We always joked about how ridiculous we looked. How if someone was to randomly take a peak at us being us for only a minute, they would probably assume we were off our rockers. Maybe we were.

The point is, I want that kind of love again. The kind where I don't care how stupid or crazy I look because I'm having a great time doing it, and because I'm being my complete self and he doesn't care.