Slightly overwhelmed, but ever so much more grateful for my many blessings. I don't want to share details, but the basic is, I acted a little immaturely and it resulted in a major injury that could have been life threatening. Painful misery the past 3 days, but I am finally feeling a bit better.
Within the past month, I have had two seriously scary experiences, first the car catching on fire while I was inside a few weeks ago, and now this weekend. Both of these situations really opened my eyes, I feel I am still here for a reason. I have a deep desire to put more effort in to being the best person I can be. Better mother, better daughter, better sister, better friend, better acquittance, better student, better worker, better person. A little effort can go a long way, and I am going to try.
Another lesson learned: I have kept tall walls up quite a bit since breaking things off with my sons father 18 months ago. I've casually dated a few guys, but never let myself get really involved or invested. Always kept my distance, and broke things off before I could get hurt. Then entirely out of character, I let my heart completely free fall, in virtually no time at all. I was caught off guard by my own lack of fear. But there was a sense of of comfort. For some unknown understanding, I thought there was going to be something special. Even typing that I feel incredibly sappy for experiencing such strong emotions for someone in so little time. I can't express how unlike me those feelings were. I'm always so very cautious in regards to my heart. Unfortunately, it seems that things are not going to turn out the way my heart had hoped, but my mind was trying to warn. After a few hours of being down and feeling the sting of a fresh "heartbreak", I realize that the only thing I am doing is suppressing happiness. Why feel sad for something that obviously wasn't meant to be? As cliche as it is, when one door closes, another opens. I have a strong belief that things do happen for a reason, that every twist and turn in the road, every dead end, ever mistrotten path, is leading me to a better me. It's building more strength and teaching new lessons.
Within the past month, I have had two seriously scary experiences, first the car catching on fire while I was inside a few weeks ago, and now this weekend. Both of these situations really opened my eyes, I feel I am still here for a reason. I have a deep desire to put more effort in to being the best person I can be. Better mother, better daughter, better sister, better friend, better acquittance, better student, better worker, better person. A little effort can go a long way, and I am going to try.
Another lesson learned: I have kept tall walls up quite a bit since breaking things off with my sons father 18 months ago. I've casually dated a few guys, but never let myself get really involved or invested. Always kept my distance, and broke things off before I could get hurt. Then entirely out of character, I let my heart completely free fall, in virtually no time at all. I was caught off guard by my own lack of fear. But there was a sense of of comfort. For some unknown understanding, I thought there was going to be something special. Even typing that I feel incredibly sappy for experiencing such strong emotions for someone in so little time. I can't express how unlike me those feelings were. I'm always so very cautious in regards to my heart. Unfortunately, it seems that things are not going to turn out the way my heart had hoped, but my mind was trying to warn. After a few hours of being down and feeling the sting of a fresh "heartbreak", I realize that the only thing I am doing is suppressing happiness. Why feel sad for something that obviously wasn't meant to be? As cliche as it is, when one door closes, another opens. I have a strong belief that things do happen for a reason, that every twist and turn in the road, every dead end, ever mistrotten path, is leading me to a better me. It's building more strength and teaching new lessons.
So yeah, the past couple days have been tough, emotionally and very much physically, but I am proud to say I am still strong enough to get through them. And I am still smiling. :)
As Charlie Sheen would say,
"Winning!"
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